10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983)

Charles Bronson = powerviolence

Charles Bronson is a cult movie institution. The Great Buchinsky, he's the master of dry delivery, but never a dry performance. While he made his name (sans mustache) in such classics as THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE DIRTY DOZEN and ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, he will forever be remembered as the steely eyed killing machine of the DEATH WISH series and the multitude of Charles Bronson ass kickers that followed in it's wake.

Bronson became known as the guy who put the "right" back into the term right wing nutjob. He was the scourge of scum, a mustachioed avenger, and nothing says tough guy like a mustache. Bronson knew this. One of my favorite Bronson stories I've read comes from when Don Siegel actually tried to get Bronson to shave off his money making mustache for the film, TELEFON. Bronson's simple reply: No mustache. No Bronson. Imagine the voice. Gold. His strange accent can turn any line into comedy, and the simple sight of seeing his grandpa-esque figure pull a gun on a scumbag is always bound to crack a smile.

10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983) was directed by J. Lee Thompson for Cannon films. Falling on the heels of Thompson's foray in the slasher genre, having previously directed HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981), Thompson, who was also given a story credit, makes MIDNIGHT an interesting genre hybrid by cross pollinating a tits and ass slasher with a Charles Bronson cop film. The results are a fun night at the movies.

The story kicks off with Bronson cop, Leo Kessler, letting a nosey reporter know just who the fuck he is, "Jerry, I'm not a nice person. I'm a mean, selfish son of a bitch. I know you want a story, but I want a killer, and what I want comes first." Cue Charles Bronson title card and some 80's action synth. Welcome to Charles Bronson country. Population: Bronson. Love it or leave it. Nice intro. I'm pumped.

Never trust a man with a karate poster of himself on his wall.

From there we start to follow our killer, Warren Stacy, as played by Gene Davis, who you might recall as the tranny hooker/ informant from CRUISING. He's a creepy bastard, stalking a chick who threw coffee on him after trying to unzip her dress at work. After some quality stalking, he cleans up at his place. If you're already wincing at the sight of him prepping banana hammock style in front of his mirror, you're in for a long night. Dressed and armed with a butterfly knife, Stacy heads out to a movie theater. He creeps on some chicks until they move seats. His romantic failures provide some laughs. Then, he slips out the theater bathroom window.

Suddenly, we're in the woods and guess who's coming up on a van of some bare assed love birds. Stacy likes to watch. Did I mention this guy's creepy? Some coitus interruptus. Some stabby-stabby. I don't think the boyfriend made it. Then we're blessed with this naked chase scene. AWESOME~! It's almost like something out of an X-rated EVIL DEAD movie. Oh yeah, Stacy is balls out naked too just because that's his style, and the added man ass really amps up the terror.

The Sam Raimi sex tape finally surfaces.

After Stacy kills the girl, it's back to the movie theater, where Stacy makes sure to flush his rubber gloves and give some more attitude to the girls that snubbed him at the beginning of the show. The funny thing is the homely chick is actually into him. Gross.

At the murder scene Bronson meets his new young partner, Paul McCann. Bronson flexes on him for mucking up the crime scene with his spit out chewing gum. At the examiner while standing over the corpse Bronson leaves some keen insight on the killer, "Well if anybody does something like this, his knife has got to be his penis." Pure Bronson and a quote I'm sure to bring out while looking over the turkey at my family's next Thanksgiving.

Stacy works as an office handyman, getting paid to fix typewriters and creep on the lady employees. Boss lady wants to know where dead Betty is. Her co-worker/ roommate, Karen, nicely puts over that Betty is a cooze. Stacy rubs it in. Then the cheese rolls out. Boss lady gets the death call on Betty. She must have gone to the TROLL 2 school of acting. Let's just say she's mortified. The office reacts to the news in a similar fashion.

Whaaaat??? Whooooo??? Oh. My. God.

Now Bronson and McCann are headed off to notify the next of kin. While en route, Bronson relays a story about a morphine addict who went crazy and killed some folks in the neighborhood back in the day, only to get off light for being loco just so he could kill again. His delivery on "morphine" is pure Bronson. You get to understand that Bronson doesn't like how softly the system handles criminals. The next of kin turn out to be old friends of Bronson's. Suddenly, shit gets personal. Look out Stacy. The cops also go interview Karen, who rattles off all of the dudes Betty was banging. She also drops that Betty was getting some dirty phone calls from a Mexican guy, but really though who doesn't.

At Betty's funeral we meet Bronson's nurse in training daughter, Laurie, who was an old friend of Betty's. Her and McCann have a bit of a "I don't like you, but maybe I'd do you" vibe going. Stacy attends the funeral as a bereaved co-worker and overhears Betty's father mentioning that Betty kept a diary on all of her romantic exploits. He bemoans all the men she's been with. Is it wrong that I laugh?

Stacy wants that diary and goes to Karen and Betty's to find it, but the nightstand drawer is locked, and before he can jimmy it open with a butcher knife, Karen shows up. You can guess what happens next. The knife is his penis after all. Finally, after giving it to Karen, naked Stacy opens the drawer, but the diary is already gone.

Turns out Bronson and McCann got the diary when they first interviewed Karen, and they're waiting to talk to Stacy about it at his place. The diary goes on about Stacy being a creep, but Stacy shines it off. He gives his movie theater alibi, but a poster on his wall gives away his enjoyment of the stabbing sport of bullfighting and his proficiency with the Spanish language. The highlight, however, comes with Bronson snooping around Stacy's bathroom.

What is this used for?

Bronson finds some sort of ROBO PENIS PUMP-DICK SUCKING MACHINE. AWESOME~! He also finds some gay porno mags on top of the crapper. Just what this movie needs, more man ass. Before they leave, the cops get notified of Karen's death.

After some debriefing, they haul Stacy in for some more questioning. Stacy has a juvie record for killing a cat and cutting a girl. "It was an accident!" blurts Stacy. Bronson doesn't buy any of it and his grilling is pure Bronson. He laces into Stacy on being a sexual outcast, and even brings back our old friend, THE ROBO PENIS PUMP-DICK SUCKING MACHINE~!

It's for jacking off, isn't it?!

Bronson's interrogation starts to get physical, but his co-workers pull leash on Bronson's barking dog. They can't charge Stacy with anything because the girls he creeped on at the movie theater verify as alibis and all of his other alibis check out too. Bronson knows he's guilty, and it makes him sick that the system is protecting this murderous pervert.

The next day, daughter Laurie drops by the station to give some information on Stacy, but Bronson is too busy plotting a way to take Stacy down to be bothered. McCann middle-mans himself for Bronson and finds out that Betty spoke of being afraid of Stacy because he was always talking about getting revenge on those that belittled him, but wait Bronson just belittled him... uh-oh.

Ok, that sounds good, but first tell me what a "panocha" is.

Now Bronson's daughter starts getting phone calls from a guy with a bad spanish accent. Stacy wants to eat her pussy and put it in her butt... Cool. While at lunch Laurie let's Bronson and McCann know about her new admirer. They make sure to set up a recording device for his next call. Laurie also starts to soften up a bit to McCann and invites him to a party. At the party McCann hears some screaming and busts in on a couple making the beast for some more gratuitous nudity. I'm OD'ing on man ass, over here.

Coitus Interruptus

After the party, McCann and Laurie head back to her place and are just about ready to seal the deal, but the phone rings, and it's Stacy again or shall I say, Pedro. He's got the biggest one you've ever seen, you know. Laurie strings him along just so they can collect more choice dialogue, and choice dialogue it is. He calls Laurie a cunt, her mom a whore and dad a pig. Naughty.

Bronson only plays by one guy's rules: Bronson's.

Bronson knows it's only a matter of time before Stacy tries to shank his daughter, and drastic times call for drastic measures. So after bossing around the police lab pot head, Bronson sneaks out some of dead Betty's blood. The next day after confirming the voice match of Pedro to Stacy's interrogation tape, a warrant is put out on Stacy. So they pick him up along with taking in a bunch of his clothes as possible evidence. Then wouldn't you know it, soon enough dead Betty's blood has been found on some of Stacy's clothes. McCann gets suspicious when the lab rat mentions that Bronson was in the lab late last night. Holy OJ Simpson case, Batman!

Back at the station, Stacy and his lawyer hash out his release on his pervy phone calling beef. Then Bronson drops by to piss on their parade and announce that because of the bloody clothes Stacy's going down for murder. Stacy proceeds to lose his shit. His hissyfit is a sight to behold. Advantage Bronson.

Stacy practices his prison rape face.

Now the trial gears up and Stacy's lawyer puts the pressure on McCann to tell the truth, or he just might have to face a perjury charge. McCann's already suspicious of Bronson's methods, and Bronson isn't giving him any straight answers. So one last trip to the lab rat and McCann's suspicions are confirmed as the rat notes that he saw Bronson tooling around in the blood room.

The day of the trial, McCann calls Bronson out on the blood planting. Bronson owns up to it because it was the right thing to do to get Stacy off the street, so he wouldn't kill again. McCann calls dirty pool on that and tells Bronson that he refuses to lie on the stand. As such, Bronson gets the trial called off by telling the judge the truth. A media circus ensues, and Bronson tells the press to fuck off. Pure Bronson.

Fired, Bronson licks his wounds over some booze with his daughter. He wants her to keep an eye out for Stacy and use the police radio that McCann dropped off previously if need be. At home Bronson gets a friendly call from Stacy insinuating that he's going to kill Bronson.... riiiiiiiiiight.

Suddenly, the movie turns into a petty revenge film. Bronson's got nothing else to do, so he starts stalking Stacy and fucking with his life. Some murder photos at Stacy's workplace here, a house break in there. It would have been great if Bronson called him with a spanish accent, but we settle for Bronson's.

"Bottoms Up: The Story of My Life"

I'm still waiting on the release of this hookers autobiography.

Stacy needs to lose Bronson, so he winds up picking up a prostitute and taking her to a seedy motel. After getting her naked and drugging her under the auspices of Early Times whiskey, Stacy slips out the back. All the while Bronson is lagging behind Stacy, playing catch up, and by the time he realizes what's happening, Stacy's already at Laurie's with a nice bouquet of roses to deliver.

Ummm, candy gram, mam.

Bronson tries to call in to warn Laurie and her nubile roommates, but it's too late. The man ass has arrived, and while Laurie hides helpless, he kills his way through the roommates. First the girl at the door, then the naked girl in the shower, and finally the screaming mimi on the floor.

Frightening.

The film actually even reaches a moment of high tension as Laurie hides under the bed as Stacy stalks about. I laugh a bit as Laurie locks herself in the bathroom, and Stacy tries kicking the door down. Where's your karate now, nature boy?! After failing, Stacy tricks Laurie into thinking he left. As she comes out of the bathroom, Stacy goes for the kill again, but gets a burning curling iron to the face. Now Laurie's out and the chase is on as Bronson arrives on the scene.

Mangina?

With the ghetto bird out in full force, the cops are closing in, and everybody's hauling ass down the street. Well everybody but Bronson, he's on more of a jog, but slow and steady wins the race as Bronson heads Stacy off. It's showdown time, and too bad Stacy brought a knife to a gun fight. Stacy tries to blame Bronson's meddling for the recent killings, then he remembers what his dirty lawyer told him about pleading insanity, and starts to rant about his sickness and how he'll get off. Bronson begs to differ, and sinks a slug into his head. BANG. The end.

Well if anybody does something like this, his gun has got to be his penis.

KILL NAKED, KILL NOW - DEATH WEARS A COCK SOCK - MAN ASS: THE MOVIE... Call it what you will, but 10 TO MIDNIGHT is a wild film. It's one of those movies that's best to throw on when you got some friends over, and they have no idea what the movie is about, or maybe you just want to settle in and have a good movie visit with your grandma and watch the sparks fly. It's got everything a deviant movie goer wants: sex, nudity, violence, Bronson, potty mouthedness, perverts, hookers and of course a ROBO PENIS PUMP - DICK SUCKING MACHINE~! And while MIDNIGHT doesn't have the body count and general mayhem of say a DEATH WISH 3, it has a better story and for a Bronson movie a shocking lack of rape. Thus, it is one of the more enjoyable Bronson films I've seen, and a must see for Bronson fans and slasher fans alike.